My daughter, Margo, came into the kitchen where my wife and I were talking.  The look on her face was a clear indicator that something had happened.  She explained that her twin sister, Josie, had crashed her bike.  Before we had time to respond, Josie gingerly walked into the kitchen carrying her helmet.  She had road rash head to knee.  Her cheekbone, lip, and nose all had a visible injury.  My wife quickly took charge with the antiseptic spray and shower to wash the wounds.

Altering Reality

Margo and I remained in the kitchen.  I asked her what had occurred and she began to explain.  Josie was on the sidewalk, heading down our steep neighborhood hill.  Her speed exceeded her ability.  She lost control, hit the curb, and flew off of her bike head first.  Margo had attempted to immediately come to retrieve us but Josie asked her not to do so.  She had a plan.  Turns out, she had not been wearing her helmet.  If...

As parents, we expect the truth from our children.  As a spouse, we expect the truth from our partner.  If we are part of an organization, we expect the truth from our peers or management.  When things happen that are not fully explained, doubt creeps in.  Trust begins to break down.  The more time that passes, the more difficult it becomes to fully trust again.

We expect the truth from every person unless we think it will be unpleasant.  We say we want the truth and become angry when it does not meet our expectations.  At times, there are few things more painful than accepting reality.  We hear the truth and explode with anger or tears.  What we put into the world is what we get back!  If you want the truth, you must regulate your response.  This does not mean that when your child admits to stealing or smoking, you passively accept their actions.  It is wise, however, to celebrate the truth.  The truth is rooted in...

Parents celebrate a child’s first words.  There is anticipation for the words that follow.  Contrast a child’s first words with the first words of an average, everyday conversation.  It is highly likely you have never considered how you begin a conversation.  Do you open a conversation with a derogatory statement or a positive statement?

Here are a few ways people initiate conversation:

Negative Nellie – “This place has the worst service.”

Our first words set the tone for the remainder of the conversation.  Why do so many of us begin a conversation with a negative tone?  Negativity sells.  Ever wonder why news headlines have a negative tone?  The media understands the psychology of people and we are far more likely to pay attention to a negative headline versus a positive one.  Negativity sells and we instinctively know it, so we tend to initiate conversations with negativity to increase our chances of...

Leadership and parenting are nearly one and the same.

Let’s take a look:

Tough Decisions

All decisions have consequences, but tough decisions have consequences that impact lives beyond our own. Tough decisions involve others and likely will not be popular because they will require the near-term pain of change. Parents might decide to pull their child out of their current school and put them into a different learning environment. The reasons could be for academics or peer shifts. The easy answer is the status quo. No change. As a parent who wants to lead, the decision to change will be difficult. As a leader, the decision must be made to give the child their best chance for their future.

As a business example, let’s say there is a company division that has been underperforming. This division is no longer part of the core business and efforts to get it on track have not worked out. The division employs 50 people whose families are relying on the salaries and it has been a...

Humans are social creatures.  We crave companionship and belonging.  Friendship is part of the human experience and can be one of the most rewarding aspects of life.  Have you ever thought about the best strategy for cultivating meaningful friendships?  I have spent the majority of my career learning about people.  This study has primarily focused on understanding what motivates people and how we most effectively connect.  It occurred to me that there should be a set of guidelines for establishing and maintaining meaningful friendships.  My hope is that this list helps you build deeper and more meaningful friendships or at least inspires you to ponder what is important for you.

1. Be a good listener. The most interesting people we meet are often those that ask questions and listen.  They encourage others to speak, and then they listen.  Most of us wait to respond without actually listening to the other person.  Listening is a...

Maya Angelou said “I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” It occurred to me that this statement applies to more than just conversations or interactions with others. It can be applied to nearly all aspects of life and work. If you want to leave the person you are interacting with feeling good about themselves, or a customer feeling good about your company, just focus on a happy ending.

First let's go over the fundamentals of attentively interacting with another person or company:

1. Be present when they are present. What comes to mind when a person you are talking to looks at their phone or watch?  They aren't paying attention, or maybe there is something more important for them to tend to. Wherever you are, being there is fundamental to building meaningful relationships and maintaining sanity in this ultra-connected world. Think of your attention as...